by Deborah A. Gaston
The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you." Jeremiah 31:3
I stood in the hallway as my father took the call. He sat on the edge of the bed and listened, occasionally asking a question. His baritone voice sounded calm and collected as he said, “Thank you” and hung up the phone. Then I saw my father do something I’d rarely seen: he fell across the bed and sobbed!
His only son had died.
My older brother, Phillip, had been born brain damaged -- a deaf/mute, with a host of mental and physical challenges. My parents had tried to care for him at home as long as possible, but the task had become too arduous both physically and emotionally for them. Subsequently, Phillip was placed in an institution for the mentally disabled.
I stood there that day trying to feel my father’s anguish. I tried to imagine my father’s delight at hearing the words, “It’s a boy.” I tried to envision the gleam in his eye when he saw his son for the first time; tried to feel the joyous cadence of his heartbeat the first time he held that son. What hopes had he had for him? What dreams? What desires? This was the son he had longed for. This was the son he had prayed for. This was his beloved, formed in his image and likeness. This was the one who would carry on the family name.
I listened as my father wept, recognizing that these tears were not only for the loss of a life, but the loss of a lifetime - a lifetime of dreams and hopes. The fact that he had not been able to form the intimate bond that a father desires with a son had not lessened that love nor lessened the pain. The fact that he had been separated from that son for years had not lessened the love. The fact that his son had never heard his voice nor been able to respond to that love had not lessened it. And I believe that until the day he received that phone call, my father never abandoned the hope that his son would return to him and they would share the love that father and son were meant to share. I know despite the circumstances, there remained a place in my father’s heart that only Phillip could occupy, and love ever called him to come and dwell there. The loss never lessened the love. The love remained strong.
Such is a father’s heart.
Such is our Father’s heart!
His is a heart that burns with a longing for us. His is a heart that is zealous for each of us. His heart beams with delight in loving us and swells with joy when we return that love to Him. A heart that boils with an everlasting love that does not cool in its intensity; that is not lessened by separation or lack of relationship. In fact the Hebrew word translated love is ahab and it denotes a boiling, a burning, passionate desire. It connotes a strong emotional attachment for and a desire to possess and be in the presence of the object of love. We so often think of our desire to possess and be in His presence, but we often fail to see that His love for us is so fervent that He longs to be with us. Moses revealed this heart of God to the children of Israel when he writes: “for he is a God who is passionate about His relationship with you.”( Exodus 34:14b NLT) This is the love the Father has for us.
Our Father’s is a heart that breaks each time one of us does not realize the purpose for which we are created – to know Him. A heart that aches whenever we don’t hear His voice. It is a heart so abounding with love for us that it continually seeks to draw us back into that place of holy integration, holy oneness with Him and grieves when we don’t respond.
“My Child, I have prepared a place for you inside My heart and it is a place that only you can occupy. I yearn for you to come. It is a love unlike any you have ever experienced. It is the same love wherewith I love My Son, Jesus. As you embark on this journey, know that it is a return to Love. It is a return to My heart. It is a return to My glory. It is a familiar place for it is the place where you began. All I have done in sending My Son to be the atoning sacrifice for your sin was to bring you back to this place. Come, live inside My love.”
This is the heart Father God’s that ever pursues us.
I stood in the hallway as my father took the call. He sat on the edge of the bed and listened, occasionally asking a question. His baritone voice sounded calm and collected as he said, “Thank you” and hung up the phone. Then I saw my father do something I’d rarely seen: he fell across the bed and sobbed!
His only son had died.
My older brother, Phillip, had been born brain damaged -- a deaf/mute, with a host of mental and physical challenges. My parents had tried to care for him at home as long as possible, but the task had become too arduous both physically and emotionally for them. Subsequently, Phillip was placed in an institution for the mentally disabled.
I stood there that day trying to feel my father’s anguish. I tried to imagine my father’s delight at hearing the words, “It’s a boy.” I tried to envision the gleam in his eye when he saw his son for the first time; tried to feel the joyous cadence of his heartbeat the first time he held that son. What hopes had he had for him? What dreams? What desires? This was the son he had longed for. This was the son he had prayed for. This was his beloved, formed in his image and likeness. This was the one who would carry on the family name.
I listened as my father wept, recognizing that these tears were not only for the loss of a life, but the loss of a lifetime - a lifetime of dreams and hopes. The fact that he had not been able to form the intimate bond that a father desires with a son had not lessened that love nor lessened the pain. The fact that he had been separated from that son for years had not lessened the love. The fact that his son had never heard his voice nor been able to respond to that love had not lessened it. And I believe that until the day he received that phone call, my father never abandoned the hope that his son would return to him and they would share the love that father and son were meant to share. I know despite the circumstances, there remained a place in my father’s heart that only Phillip could occupy, and love ever called him to come and dwell there. The loss never lessened the love. The love remained strong.
Such is a father’s heart.
Such is our Father’s heart!
His is a heart that burns with a longing for us. His is a heart that is zealous for each of us. His heart beams with delight in loving us and swells with joy when we return that love to Him. A heart that boils with an everlasting love that does not cool in its intensity; that is not lessened by separation or lack of relationship. In fact the Hebrew word translated love is ahab and it denotes a boiling, a burning, passionate desire. It connotes a strong emotional attachment for and a desire to possess and be in the presence of the object of love. We so often think of our desire to possess and be in His presence, but we often fail to see that His love for us is so fervent that He longs to be with us. Moses revealed this heart of God to the children of Israel when he writes: “for he is a God who is passionate about His relationship with you.”( Exodus 34:14b NLT) This is the love the Father has for us.
Our Father’s is a heart that breaks each time one of us does not realize the purpose for which we are created – to know Him. A heart that aches whenever we don’t hear His voice. It is a heart so abounding with love for us that it continually seeks to draw us back into that place of holy integration, holy oneness with Him and grieves when we don’t respond.
“My Child, I have prepared a place for you inside My heart and it is a place that only you can occupy. I yearn for you to come. It is a love unlike any you have ever experienced. It is the same love wherewith I love My Son, Jesus. As you embark on this journey, know that it is a return to Love. It is a return to My heart. It is a return to My glory. It is a familiar place for it is the place where you began. All I have done in sending My Son to be the atoning sacrifice for your sin was to bring you back to this place. Come, live inside My love.”
This is the heart Father God’s that ever pursues us.
